Genius scientist and douche Dr. Peter Houseman (Gene LeBrock or a piece of papier-maché shaped like a man)has a problem (actually, he has two problems, but since nobody seems to mind his lack of manners I'll let it slide) - after his university has allowed him to use up $200 000 in his research on something he didn't want to tell them about, they actually dare to demand answers to some questions about his work before they grant him another $100 000. Although his incredible charm (or so the script says) helps him to sway Sally (Catherine Baranov), a member of the budgetary committee whose approval he now needs, the other members of said committee are less impressed by him or his theories (something about some kind of genetic thingy that could possibly end aging and death) or his methods (including illicit use of human fetuses in his experiments). They are so unimpressed that they're planning to assign Dr. Lloyd (Stephen Brown) as his supervisor, a man who hates Houseman's guts for no good reason at all (if you ignore Houseman's tendency to insult Lloyd whenever possible).
The only thing that can save Houseman's easy life work is that well-known staple of responsible science - the clandestine self-experiment. To no-one's surprise the good doctor, soon after injecting himself with his serum (genes are the new glands!), starts to act like even more of an ass than before. Of course he has these strange little blackouts, too. Is it possible that he slowly regresses into "a living fossil", the well known predecessor of mankind science calls the Humanoid Camembert? Will he kill a few people in a very lackluster manner? The answers will surprise nobody.
The most interesting thing about Metamorphosis is its place in bad movie history as the only official directorial work of beloved Italian (bad-)movie actor George Eastman of Anthropophagus and a million other films fame.
I am a little sad to suggest that Eastman didn't learn anything about directing films while acting in them, but this snoozefest doesn't leave me with much of a choice. I am even a little generous when I call Eastman's direction pedestrian and uninspired. The film is more or less at a point where I'm not sure if there really was a director on set. Everything is excruciatingly boring.
But special attention has to be paid to the actors as well. After all, how often does the discerning viewer have the chance to watch so many people in the only roles of their careers? Now some might say that even one time was one time too many for these people (or the viewer), a notion of which I highly disapprove. In the end even a piece of wood deserves a short time in the spotlight.
And let's be honest. I don't think even the most brilliant actors would have been able to do something with a script as thoughtless, stupid and just plain boring as Metamorphosis'.
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