Vampire countess needs a bath in virgin blood to stay in shape. But a good virgin is hard to find. Can Professor van Bloed, who looks about fifteen years old, and his newfangled artificial blood help? Do I care?
I am sure that the Geneva Conventions prohibit use of this film. I have seen my share of painfully unfunny comedies, but this...this is so bad I can't find words to describe it. I can't even ask "what the hell were these people thinking?". The brain-dead do not think.
At least I can report that this was the fourth and final film of "director" Boris Szulzinger. I suppose a mob of villagers carrying burning torches saved us from further pain. We should build them a monument.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
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