At least the title delivers. The rest is a so-boring-it's-boring collection of non-happenings. A non-Russian mad scientist tries to develop a gas to turn all Americans into docile idiots (non-zombies), instead of waiting a few decades to let them achieve that state naturally.
To this end, she cages the most boring teenagers the world has ever seen. Someone in a non-gorilla costume runs around. Nothing happens. A lot. Sometimes you can detect camera non-movement so still your mind expands. Sometimes you are not sure if a non-event occurs or if you just hope it does. Slowly you realize the terrible truth. This is not a movie. Not even a non-movie. It is Jerry Warren's grand achievement: a door to hell. Satan is boring.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
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