Things I don't want to read in reviews again, ever

• This is not for everyone.
  You don't say, sweetheart. Next thing you're going to tell me is people have different tastes.
  
• The characters are deeply flawed. (usually said as if there was something wrong with it)
  Obviously, the reviewer's world is only filled with perfect people like himself.
  
• The characters are unsympathetic.
  Of course we want to read only about characters we like. As long as they're not interesting.
  
• The evil author uses big words and complicated sentences.
  Now the author wants me to read carefully, too!
  
• Many things remain unexplained and stay ambiguous.
  It's getting even worse. The author doesn't take me by the hand! She expects me to think and have my own opinions!
  
• I need three pages of exposition! I don't understand anything that is only implied!
  Just shut up Critic, will you!