Metamorphosis (2022)

Original title: Yi bian bao long

After catching a very weird giant snake that escaped from a dubious gene research facility, biologist (weird wildlife expert?) and all-around honourable man of action Liang (Gao Shuang) hires on with the research outfit responsible for the monstrosity. His ex-girlfriend, scientist Shi Wen (Sun Ruiqi) is working there as well, and there’s still clearly still a lot going on between them. It’s a bad time for romance, though, for escaping giant snakes aren’t the place’s only problem: the T-Rex the researchers have cobbled together out of the genetical material of other animals breaks out of its cage as well, and now starts hunting the research staff. Liang and Shi Wen do their best to keep everyone alive, but herding these bickering scientists is rather a lot like herding the proverbial cats.

To make matters worse, the perhaps cow-sized T-Rex mutates whenever it encounters deadly force, and eventually evolves to acquire interesting traits like a prehensile tongue and super-chameleon-like stealth powers. All very much to the delight of the mad scientist who actually owns the facility.

Apparently, while I wasn’t looking Chinese streaming services have started to fill the niche for cheap and cheerful CGI monster movies left deserted when the SyFy Channel jumped the Sharknado, and I’m all for it. Chen Liangyan’s Metamorphosis follows all the of the important rules of this particular genre, showing off its dubious but certainly not charmless creatures early and often, while only wasting time on the human characters to create a modicum of plot forward momentum.

Mostly, the people are in here to get eaten, look pretty, bicker to make us happy for them getting eaten, and be heroic, and the cast fulfil these functions as well as can be hoped for. Showing good sense for the kind of movie this is, Chen puts little emphasis on the interpersonal dramatics, and instead hits the monster action as quickly as possible, while doing his best to keep away from too much repetition through the wonderful goofiness of the monster’s mutations. Thanks to an economical runtime of just seventy minutes, this plan works out fine for the movie and at least this viewer.

I have a lot of time for cheap monster movies, and certainly ones that understand the basic needs they are made to fulfil quite as well as Metamorphosis does – the tropes and clichés are the point of these films, not something to be shamefacedly avoided, so wallowing in them is indeed a good thing.

Plus, there’s very little I can say against a film that follows Chekhov’s edict while replacing a boring gun over a fireplace with a colourful giant CGI snake.