Possessed II (1984)

Original title: 艷鬼發狂

Full-time misogynist asshole and police inspector Siu (Siu Yuk-Lung) is moving into a new apartment with his pregnant wife Li Chun and their little daughter. It’s clearly a better place for threatening to leave her if the new child isn’t a boy, and berate her for whatever crap comes into his head. Is anyone surprised he’s also cheating on Li Chun with a colleague (Pauline Wong Siu-Fung) at the moment, and that she’s not his first mistress? Ladies and gentlemen, our protagonist, and not even at his worst.

Adding insult to injury, the new apartment is also haunted by the ghost of a former starlet and prostitute (and various co-ghosts). The lady ghost begins possessing Li Chun to violently get back at people for sins decades past. There’s quite a bit of seduction followed by her turning into a hairy lady and killing the seduced involved. The ghost is also causing Li Chun to miscarry, for which Siu of course berates his wife, while also threatening to arrest her for “murdering his child”.

That he’s beginning to suffer from various ghost related troubles really does not trouble this viewer much. Our protagonist being a walking-talking human rights violation notwithstanding, something has to be done against the ghosts before more people die. Two colleagues of his who moonlight as feng shui experts and Buddhist exorcists are not as useful as you’d hope. Fortunately, there’s a magical white guy in form of a Hare Krishna dude (Jayson Case) with an actual reason to care for the affair hanging around the edges of the plot. While the film’s at it, it also provides Siu with an opportunity to better his behaviour.

Where I was complaining that David Lai’s first Possessed was a bit too normal and sensible for my tastes, this second movie triples down on the weirdness much beloved of Hong Kong horror. It’s also a bit confusing: is Siu supposed to be the same cop who didn’t survive the horror movie bullshit ending of the first film? If so, why is he alive? What happened to his sister? When did he have the time for daughter and marriage? If not, why doesn’t the film give him a different name? I’m sure actor Siu Yuk-Lung could have managed being called by a different character name.

Of course, questions like this get lost once the film at hand really gets going. There’s scene after incredible scene: See Possessed Li Chun seduce an overweight butcher and roll around with him in a dark meat wagon! Then watch her turn into the pretty incredible hairy lady monster (surely a Chinese creature I should know)!

Be astonished at racism so bizarre, it’s impossible not to laugh, particularly when our possessed heroine seduces an “African warrior” (or so he tells her), who reacts in ways as embarrassing as they are crack-brained to that situation! All of that happens in between melted faces, crap attempts by Siu to do policework, general spookery of the blue-lit kind, some very mild sex, and a comedic scene in which the feng shui cops attempt to secretly take down a mirror and move a shelf in the apartment while Li Chun is standing right in front of them, and which involves a fake mah-jong session as well as strategically thrown mah-jong stones.

Adding further joy is the perfectly bizarre Hare Krishna business - which will also stick its Hare Krishna theme tune into your brain in ways to never let it leave – featuring said Hare Krishna ghost fighter using all the best hi-tech equipment of ‘84 (absolutely what these guys are known for), as well as a lot of gloopy effects work and general mayhem.

Really, the only way not to enjoy Possessed II is when you work yourself into an offended snit watching it, which I can understand but simply not feel.