Original title: Con la muerte a la espalda
Through the transformation of the glorious WTF-Films into the even more
glorious Exploder
Button and the ensuing server changes, some of my old columns for
the site have gone the way of all things internet. I’m going to repost them here
in irregular intervals in addition to my usual ramblings.
Please keep in mind these are the old posts presented with only
basic re-writes and improvements. Furthermore, many of these pieces were
written years ago, so if you feel offended or need to violently disagree with me
in the comments, you can be pretty sure I won’t know why I wrote what I wrote
anymore anyhow.
A gang of international evil-doers has invented a drug that can be used to
provoke completely innocent members of the military into pushing the Big Red
Button that would loose the Big One. Does it show I'm so old I even remember the
Cold War?
Anyway, that drug may not sound all that useful to you or me (for what good
is destroying the world, really, unless you're an insane cultist of some
eldritch god?), but "the third power" we will certainly not call China (oops) is
very interested in acquiring it.
Fortunately, our international evil-doers make a very public test run of
their drug, giving one of those professors of every discipline you often find in
these films enough data to develop an antidote against it. For once, the
Americans and the Russians (as represented by agents called - I kid you not -
Bill and Ivan) are of one mind, and are even willing to share the antidote with
each other, if with gnashing teeth.
For some reason, the good guys ship the Professor and his assistant Monica
(Vivi Bach) off to Hamburg, where he is supposed to give a suitcase containing
the antidote and/or the formula for the antidote to the proper authorities
during some rich woman's party. Of course, the international evil-doers get wind
of this particularly useless plan – unless this takes place in a world without
any telecommunications - and gun down the Professor. If not for the intervention
of suave/smarmy thief Gary (George Martin) who just happens to be a sucker for
beautiful women and suitcases containing valuables, they'd be able to kill
Monica and steal the suitcase too.
Having acquired Monica and the suitcase, Gary isn't quite sure what to do
with them - sell them on to the Chinese? The Russians? The Americans? Be a
gentleman thief and protect Monica? Treat her like an actual human being? It
would be nice if our hero (or not) had some time for further deliberation, but
each and every faction who knows about Monica and the suitcase wants to capture,
kill or buy him, leaving the poor jerk hardly a second to breathe or put the
(horrible) moves on women. What's a thief to do?
It has always been one of the pleasures of the Eurospy genre for me to
encounter unexpectedly fun films like With Death On Your Back. Its
director Alfredo Balcázar is one of those workhorses who spent much of their
career during the 60s and 70s churning out films in the popular genres of the
day, trying their best to craft fun movies out of clichés, pieces taken from
other movies, and actual talent. In Balcázar's case, a lot of his work took
place in the Spaghetti (or is it Paella in this case?) Western, but I have to
admit I don't remember having seen a single one of them, which may either speak
against their quality, my memory, or my knowledge of European genre films of the
60s and 70s.
Be that as it may, With Death On Your Back seems to be the
director's only Eurospy film, which is a bit of a disappointment given how
entertaining the film is. Sure, much of what happens on screen is the usual
mixture of a suave/jerk-y (why do these words seem to be synonymous to me by
now?) hero charming the ladies in improbable ways, punching goons in the face
(or whatever other body parts look most punchable), and going through various
chase sequences to acquire and keep a McGuffin, but Balcázar just as surely
knows how to make the generic just pretty darn fun.
For me, the light variant of the Eurospy movie to which With Death
certainly belongs has a lot in common with the comedy genre. Both don't thrive
as much on originality as on an ability to make the well-known and expected feel
new and exciting, and both genres often survive problematic plotting through the
timing of their delivery. Balcázar's movie is nothing if not good at timing and
pacing, letting hardly a second go by that doesn't have something exciting
happen in it, never stopping for longer than a joke or a kiss until its hero
stumbles into the next punch-up or the next chase, keeping the audience hooked
through breathlessness and - always an important factor in a genre movie - a
willingness to entertain that makes it easy to just overlook minor flaws like
the fact that the scriptwriters don't always seem to realize Hamburg is situated
in Northern Germany and not in Bavaria or the silliness of most everything going
on.
Balcázar is helped in his endeavour of keeping the audience away from
thinking about plots, plot holes and other dumb stuff like that by an
ultra-generic - or archetypal - soundtrack by Claude Bolling that's just bound
to swing things along, a cast - also featuring Rosalba Neri and a very
unexpected Klausjürgen Wussow as mid-level baddies - that has no problems at all
to go with the silliness instead of against it (there is, as you
probably know, not much worse than an actor trying to be all thespian-like in
what is basically an adventurous romp), and some very decent stunt work.
Plus, there's a scene documenting the eternal struggle between earthbound
human and small plane (hello, Mister Hitchcock), guest starring machine pistols,
so what's not to like?
Friday, May 18, 2018
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