Saturday, February 6, 2010

In short: Kuntilanak Beranak (2009)

A group of cute college students looking for a location to shoot their own indie film in enter a large, dilapidated house in the country. There, they find a video camera containing a tape that shows the misadventures of another group of cute college students.

The latter group was trying to make some sort of sensational report to get some unseen producers to give them money for something (don't you just love the precision of detail that has gone into the plot?). The best thing they could come up with was to try and find out what really happened to a disappeared dancer.

At first, the country population was less than helpful and/or ghosts, but a helpful, insultingly acted mute guy ooga booga-ed them in the direction of an old dilapidated house. With a surprising amount of reason, our heroes postponed the search of the house until the next day. That night, they had rather disturbing encounters with a female ghost obviously out to warn them off from disturbing her home.

With a surprising lack of reason, the students/filmmakers/whatever entered the house anyway, only to have more ghostly encounters and run around screaming a lot.

So, the children of Blair Witch Project have obviously made it into Indonesia. Kuntilanak Beranak is no full-grown POV horror film, though. A lot of the shots are supposed to come from the cameras everyone is dragging around (and somehow all got onto the single camera the first group of students find, but oh well), but director Ian Jackson doesn't seem to care much about sub-genre conventions and also randomly uses shots that aren't. He also seems to have a thing for cameras hanging at about ceiling level looking down at the characters for no discernible reason - it's certainly not looking as spooky as it is probably supposed to.

For its first thirty minutes or so, the movie makes a relatively positive impression. While it is very obvious how low the budget must have been, neither the pacing nor the acting are too embarrassing. Some of the early ghost appearances are even quite effective, especially the (common in Indonesian ghost movies, as it seems) scene in which one character finds her strangely zoned out mother sitting alone in the dark in the living room, only to turn around and find that her real mother is just coming down the stairs and she just talked to a ghost in disguise.

As soon as the characters enter the cursed house, the film loses any interest at building and maintaining a mood and turns into all shaky cam and screaming all the time. There are still one or two neat ideas to be found, like the ghost of a dancer possessing someone to dance creepily, but Jacobs isn't able to milk them enough to fill another forty minutes. Screeching only gets a movie that far.

Even so, I won't come down to hard on the film. Being too long, but having four or five creepy scenes isn't too bad a record for a film this cheap, and while I wasn't exactly enraptured during the film's second half, I also wasn't too bored.

 

From Twitter 02-05-2010



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Friday, February 5, 2010

On WTF: The Return of the Vampire (1944)

1944 isn't exactly what I'd call a good year in the career of Bela Lugosi, so I entered into this one with some trepidation. Surprisingly enough, this film was very much worthy of my time.

More about the The Return of the Vampire, and some words about a World War II female vampire slayer, can be found in my review on WT-Film.

 

From Twitter 02-04-2010



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  • New blog post: In short: 4th Period Mystery (2009): Fun times at a South Korean highschool. Just two weeks before ... http://bit.ly/c0qWsl
  • Why didn't anyone tell me before that the 3rd Ator movie was directed by the glorious Mister Brescia?


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Thursday, February 4, 2010

In short: 4th Period Mystery (2009)

Fun times at a South Korean highschool. Just two weeks before the main plot of the film takes place, a student nearly died from poison. The headmaster, in a fashion completely fitting the "school is hell" concept every single South Korean movie taking place in a highschool follows, elegantly swept the little problem under the carpet.

Now, "number one student in the country" (although you wouldn't believe that one), heartthrob and professional nice guy Han Jeong-hoon (Yoo Seung-ho) finds the knifed corpse of school bully and professional rude guy Kim Tae-gyoo (Jo Sang-geun) lying in their classroom. Unfortunately for Jeong-hoon, he has had more than one violent argument with the dear deceased. There's even a nice handy photo of him threatening Tae-gyoo with the murder weapon, a pocket knife. Under these circumstances Jeong-hoon is lucky in that firstly, the classroom where the body is situated won't be in use for the next period and that secondly the person finding him with the corpse is Lee Dae-jeong (Kang So-ra).

Dae-jeong is the class geek. Usually hiding her face behind a curtain of hair, she spends all her time (and I really mean all her time) reading true crime books. After quickly taking the measure of the situation, the girl convinces Jeong-hoon that his only chance not to pay for a crime he didn't commit is for the pair of them to find the true killer before the period is over.

The girl takes out her junior-FBI woman kit (yes, I know that South Korean police isn't structured like that) and goes to work. There are quite a lot of suspects to deal with in the short time available. Especially the teachers are all highly interesting, be it prettyboy "MBC" (Jeon Joon-hong) or official crazy teacher "Crazy Dog" (Park Cheol-min). Still, there's always time for romance.

Lee Sang-yong's directorial debut 4th Period Mystery is a fast-paced and entertaining mystery, as the set-up and the title (sources tell me that the correct translation of its title would be "40 Minute Detectives") promise. It isn't a very deep or thoughtful film, though. Lee, who is also responsible for the script, puts most of his energy into keeping the pace up, letting possibilities to deepen the characters or making the mystery at its core more interesting or more poignant instead of just making it more complicated pass by.

The characters, while aptly played, are mostly cardboard cut-outs who are given just enough life to function as parts of the plot. They, as does the whole script, do exactly what they are there for, nothing more, yet also nothing less.

The same can be said about the rest of the movie. 4th Period Mystery is exactly what it promises to be at first sight - a slick, professional piece of filmmaking that wants to entertain its viewers with a slight murder mystery while making a handful of satirical observations of school life when it finds the time for them. This might not be enough for some viewers, and I would even have expected to be among them, yet I couldn't help but enjoy the ride. As much as I might protest it, sometimes a superficial but professionally made film is enough for me, especially when the film under discussion has no pretensions of being more. Call it my temporary capitulation before craftsmanship, if you like.

 

From Twitter 02-03-2010



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  • New blog post: Ritual of Death (1990): His friend, the dubious occultist sleazebag Jim, convinces the boss of a th... http://bit.ly/9qVm62
  • Dear Macmillan writers, I understand that you are not pleased about the Macmillan/Amazon disaster, but telling me that $16 is a fair price
  • for an ebook that I can't lend or sell won't make it so.
  • And whining how evil your readers are on your blogs won't help much either.
  • Playing Mass Effect to be ready for US version of the sequel arriving from HK. Probably Stockholm Syndrome, but the Mako kinda grows on me.
  • Just realized that, if they do this, I'm never going to buy a DC comic again. Didn't know I cared that much. http://tinyurl.com/yj6xc92
  • I'm usually not the boycotting kind.


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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Ritual of Death (1990)

His friend, the dubious occultist sleazebag Jim, convinces the boss of a theatre group that the best way to get at a new play to stage is stealing a book containing a sacred Indian/Egyptian ritual that is supposed "to make the pharaoh immortal" from an old man. After a dream sequence with dancing Indians, a hairy book, a man with a bowler hat and cough syrup coloured goo, the deed is done. Jim celebrates the success by having sex with his girlfriend and a blood-dripping goat's head in his bathtub while the bowler hat guy looks on and an Indian howls and dances. Afterwards, Jim and Mickey the director have a nice little chat about sacred rituals, or rather if they make for good theatre. They certainly make for good rehearsals.

The longer the rehearsals for the play with no plot go on, the weirder lead actor Brad starts to get. At first, he only develops a compulsion to eat raw meat and sleep surrounded by candles, toads and our old friend the blood-dripping goat's head, but soon he's getting all bloody, pus-y and gooey and starts to kill women in gruesome ways. It all is supposed to have something to do with bowler hat guy's wish to be reborn in Brad's body, but neither the film nor I know what that's all about.

At least the old man whose book it was seems to know the score. That's something, at least.

It'll only end in pus and goo and the selective blindness of protagonists for what's happening right in front of their eyes anyway.

In theory, (The) Ritual of Death is the American dubbed version of a Brazilian movie made by (softcore?) porn director Fauzi Mansur, but you might as well tell me that it was made on Pluto for all the sense that it makes.

The quality of the English dub alone would render the film unintelligible, what with it consisting only of mumbled sentences without much coherence. However, the way the actors make bug eyes and mug into the camera whenever possible hints at the possibility that the original dialogue doesn't make much more sense.

I still don't understand why the film pretends the native population of Brazil and the Egyptians are somehow the same thing. Jim does start to explain it at one point, but just babbles about something completely different after a sentence or two as a perfect mirror of the way the whole film is structured - not at all.

The beleagured viewer needs to broaden her definition of the word "film" if she actually wants to call this one a film. It is more like a very loose conglomeration of scenes, vaguely connected by the same actors, a genuine love for pus and goo and fog and breasts, filmed in weird angles and sprinkled with dancing Indians and a guy in a bowler hat. Oh, and mock Egyptian sacrifice ritual jazz dance.

Of course, I'd be all on board with that and howl like the monkey who is providing the film's music by hitting a synthesizer and trying to sound "Indian", if not for the dreaded curse of the second half.

Until today, I thought this only concerned Bollywood films. Ritual of Death however managed to teach me something new in this respect. The film's second half tries to alleviate its weirdness by becoming a conventional slasher film. As a film that uses things like a pimped wind machine as a murder weapon, it doesn't manage conventional too well and gets a little slow and boring, fortunately without losing its power of "what the hell?" completely. Beside the wind machine of doom, there is still a creepy scene with all of Brad's dead victims wrapped up in plastic, moaning and writhing to look forward to. That should be enough for most discerning friends of the insane, yet I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that the incomprehensible madness of the first half turned into mere gory strangeness.

At least I'll always have bowler hat guy.

 

From Twitter 02-02-2010



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  • New blog post: In short: Alien Dead (1980): Somewhere in swamptown USA, a meteorite crashes into a houseboat, as t... http://bit.ly/bEFPmw
  • A "pack of feral beagles"?Take that and the subway-riding dogs in Russia and tell me we don't live in the Future. http://tinyurl.com/yzfbqfr
  • Indie label Exit Stencil puts up most of his catalogue for free download during February. http://tinyurl.com/y999489


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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

In short: Alien Dead (1980)

Somewhere in swamptown USA, a meteorite crashes into a houseboat, as those things are wont to do, presumably killing the inhabitants. In truth, it turns them into bloodsucking zombies.

First, the sweet little shamblers kill off the crocodile population, but of course they soon start to munch on larger prey. The local hick-cliché sheriff (a Buster Crabbe very far from his time as Flash Gordon) ain't no help at all, so it is left to journalist Tom Corman (Ray Roberts), swamp beauty Shawn Michaels (Linda Lewis) and game warden Miller Haze (Mike Bonavia) to take care of the zombie problem. They aren't exactly good at it.

Alien Dead is one of the first films made by Fred Olen Ray, who is still producing crap to this day. Unlike Ray's later movies, this one was shot as part of the peculiar little exploitation machine of Florida, which at least gives it some potentially fine looking swamp for exterior shots. It's too bad that doing anything beyond pointing the camera in the wrong direction seems to be completely out of the film's league.

As is typical of Ray's films, Alien Dead is dominated by boredom and bad jokes. The director's third favorite "b", breasts, isn't on display as plentiful as in many of his later films, but just as pointlessly inserted and unexcitingly filmed this early in his career.

I'm usually open to watching just another zombie film made in Florida (or another part of the USA not Hollywood), but Alien Dead doesn't even seem to be trying to keep its potential viewers awake. Even the film's gutmunching scene, usually the part even the shittiest zombie movie puts a bit of gusto into, is just terribly sedate and polite looking, with zombie actors who seem to be on valium and having a tea party instead of being the walking dead eating the flesh of the living.

Add to this the insulting hick clichés, some atrocious country music and the lack of anything you can call a proper ending, and you have a fine cure for insomnia.

 

From Twitter 02-01-2010



  • New blog post: From Twitter 01-31-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-30-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-29-... http://bit.ly/dk1rvh
  • New blog post: Music Monday: Seasonally Inappropriate Edition: Technorati-Tags: music monday,music,johnny foreigner http://bit.ly/9SkgQK
  • The new Ellerbisms explains Los Campesinos! http://tinyurl.com/ydj4qc6
  • An Indonesian Darna, you say?
  • There's still English language pioneer work to be done about cult movies. Proof: http://tinyurl.com/ybuwuct
  • Macmillan to Amazon: "Evil capitalist bully!". Amazon to Macmillan: "Evil capitalist bully!". Me: *sigh*


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Monday, February 1, 2010

Music Monday: Seasonally Inappropriate Edition

From Twitter 01-31-2010



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  • New blog post: Blood Creek (2009): aka Town Creek About two years ago, Victor (Dominic Purcell), the Iraq vet bro... http://bit.ly/dfa73c
  • RT @wienna: RT @DriveThruRPG: So far, gamers have donated $174,195 to help Haiti! http://is.gd/6GA2Z Bundle sale ends tonight!


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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Blood Creek (2009)

aka Town Creek

About two years ago, Victor (Dominic Purcell), the Iraq vet brother of paramedic Evan Marshall (Henry Cavill) disappeared during a joint camping trip, leaving his brother guilt-ridden and desperate.

One day, a wildly bearded Victor appears in his brother's trailer, asks him to pack guns and provisions for a two day trip and help him "end something". For no good reason, Evan agrees.

Victor leads him to a farm not that far out in the boons and starts to kill its inhabitants without any hesitation. Evan is not completely on board with committing a massacre, leading to the survival of an older woman (Joy McBrinn) and her daughter Liese (Emma Booth, playing someone who is supposed to look like seventeen and just doesn't).

Turns out that Victor has good reason for hating them, though. The family used him to feed the immortal Nazi occultist Wirth (Michael Fassbender) who came to do evil occultist stuff with a runestone situated on their farm (something to do with opening his third eye) some time during the 30s. While preparing his own immortality Wirth also made the family for no reason I could discern. For his troubles, they locked him away in a cellar secured with magical symbols and only let him out at feeding time. The family didn't really mean any harm with their murdering ways, you see, they feed Wirth only to contain him and hinder him from taking over the world with his awesome powers of waking the dead and looking really silly.

Alas, the good doctor does not like it at all when his dinner is late, breaks out and makes the brothers' evenings a bit more exciting than they probably hoped for with his zombie horses, zombie people and various attempts to drink their blood.

Being directed by Joel Schumacher, this is of course a total mess of a film, but it's a mess that's nice to look at and neither uninteresting nor boring. Again and again, you can see the outline of a really riveting occult horror film behind the silliness of zombie horses, magical bone armor and people acting unlike people. Schumacher wastes some pulpy but neat ideas about rune magic and a theoretically fantastic villain (an immortal Nazi occultist who reminds me of a hyperactive version of Fulci's Dr.Freudstein should be impressive and not this silly) on a film that does not take the necessary time to build the mood or character to make them work. Instead, he just goes for a fast-paced "one damn thing after another" tale that would have worked a lot better done in a slow Italian style, given that everything else about it just screams "Italy 1980".

If you're able to stop thinking about the film's obvious lack of internal logic and can stomach its moral ("killing people for a good cause is a-ok") it can be rather exciting, at least until the next bit of idiocy stops it dead in its tracks again, but then you can have a good laugh.

The Internet - as we know always right - tells me that there is a good reason for the film being as excitingly nonsensical as it is. Schumacher seems to have had some kind of falling out with the film's scriptwriter David Kajganich (ironically also the unlucky guy theoretically responsible for the script to Oliver Hirschbiegel's equally unlucky The Invasion), ending with Schumacher re-writing parts or even large parts of the script, and (at least that's my theory) banishing any hope for a moody and intelligent film to the place where the mood and intelligence his other films should have had are hidden away.

On the visual side, there's not as much to complain about. Schumacher mostly goes for something workmanlike and professional here, far from the excesses he seems to love so much.

The effects work and design is a whole different thing again. There are some very iffy digital effects on display, and worse, the main monster Wirth looks silly where he should be menacing, dressed up like a Matrix reject with bad skin and a German accent.

Still, I can't say I don't like Blood Creek. While it is not the effective horror film it could be, it is an entertaining piece of trash, a classical b-picture made by a classical mercenary director whose ego too always gets into the way of his talent. Plus, you know, zombie horses.

 

From Twitter 01-30-2010



  • New blog post: From Twitter 01-29-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-28-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-27-... http://bit.ly/d84IVq
  • New blog post: Three Films Make A Post: Filmed In Dead Vision: Ghost in the Shell II: Innocence (2004): This anime... http://bit.ly/bZFKWk
  • I'd bitch about the evils of Amazon, too, but seeing that their German & their UK website still seem to sell the books in question
  • I'm not too sure the New York Times story everyone uses as a source is on the level.


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Saturday, January 30, 2010

Three Films Make A Post: Filmed In Dead Vision

Ghost in the Shell II: Innocence (2004): This anime is perfect proof for the concept that a film can be terribly, annoyingly flawed and still blow many of its less flawed contemporaries away. Yes, half the time I don't know what the film is on about (and I'm not sure director Mamoru Oshii is). Yes, sometimes the digital looking parts of the animation and the hand-drawn looking parts don't seem to belong to the same picture. Yes, there's way too much self-important quoting of literary classics. Yes it is an unwieldy and slow film. But the moments that work and fit together or do not fit yet make the most beautiful friction are what define the quality of this one. Once Innocence really got moving, I felt myself sucked into something quite singular, a film which tries to take the question what "life" or "being human" means head on. As every good piece of SF should, Oshii's film works on the symbolic and the concrete level at once and is not afraid of some intense mindfuck moments.

 

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002): TV's John Barrowman and his patented slime trail fight a killer shark of rapidly varying size and species, all the while giggling and grinning through what the film thinks is dialogue. The minor characters all sound like they come from the American localization of a Japanese video game circa 1996, but those usually have better scripts.

In the right mood (drunk) this is probably so bad that it's kind of a hoot, at least that's what the Internet tells me. I watched it sober, and would very much like to forget the painful experience as soon as possible.

 

Apocalypse Zero (1996): Speaking of painful experiences, this two-part OVA incorporates everything bad about its form. It's shoddily animated, stupid, pervy, unoriginal and subtitled by people who have difficulty identifying someone with extremely large breasts as female.

It also has a post-apocalyptic schoolboy in a power armor fighting six-breasted bears, old geezers with a dragon for a penis, a giant clown woman with a spiked vagina and a living nurse fetish with a bearded killer vagina, so I can't say I didn't find it amusing. The mileage of sane viewers will vary.

 

From Twitter 01-29-2010



  • New blog post: From Twitter 01-28-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-27-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-26-... http://bit.ly/9CJBY6
  • New blog post: On WTF: Trancers (1985): Trancers is what happens when you combine the natural awesomeness of Tim T... http://bit.ly/cpJdWv
  • Dear Mr. Lee, you are not entitled to my money. Also, condescend much? http://tinyurl.com/y8nmshu
  • Could someone remind me which games that guy has produced, so that I know what to avoid buying?
  • (Yes, the "you are morally obligated to buy indie games for any damn price I say" position really pisses me off)
  • RT @neilhimself: The Public Domain. Not just a good idea, it's where cultures begin. I signed the petition. http://bit.ly/cL2Vdr


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Friday, January 29, 2010

On WTF: Trancers (1985)

Trancers is what happens when you combine the natural awesomeness of Tim Thomerson with Charles Band in his least annoying mood and subtract any dolls or puppets - a very fun little movie. You can read more about it in my review on WTF-Film.

 

From Twitter 01-28-2010



  • New blog post: From Twitter 01-27-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-26-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-25-... http://bit.ly/9JcpkN
  • Finally realized my problem with everything MMO: my ideal MMO would feature no other people.
  • New blog post: In short: The Strange Case Of Doctor Rx (1942): A mysterious murderer calling himself Dr. Rx (whate... http://bit.ly/ar2R9t
  • Now that's what I call a zombie. http://tinyurl.com/yamnefc
  • Gog.com really got Activision's back catalogue (which does include some fantastic Sierra games). http://www.gog.com/en/frontpage/


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Thursday, January 28, 2010

In short: The Strange Case Of Doctor Rx (1942)

A mysterious murderer calling himself Dr. Rx (whatever that means) goes around killing gangsters who have slipped through the legal net. Yup, the trope is that old.

Might by any chance Lionel Atwill be the mysterious vigilante, or is he just randomly flashing his glasses into the camera?

Genius private eye Jerry Church (Patric Knowles) is on the case, or at least talking a lot about it while still finding time for a random off-screen marriage to a certain Kit (Anne Gwynne), girl crime writer. Will our hero persist in his dogged pursuit (aka sitting around talking) even when the evil Doctor threatens his life?

By 1942, all appearance of class (and a lot of the talent behind the camera) had left the Universal studios, and they were churning out dire little numbers like this one, directed by long-time Monogram director William Nigh. Nigh probably still had a lot more money to work with than he was used to from his Poverty Row endeavours, but unfortunately didn't have much talent to put that money to good use.

If your ideal mystery is one in which no actual detective work is taking place and nothing at all happens, and if your perfect film is one showing nothing worth looking at, you will find The Strange Case of Doctor Rx to be the best film ever. Otherwise, you'll probably just wish for the pain to stop.

To add insult to injury, the movie's victims/viewers also have to survive the soft attentions of one of the Three Stooges (I honestly don't give a toss which of them the guy is) and Mantan Moreland's usual racist stick, both probably added to drag the film from "boring" into the seldom reached circle of hell reserved for the completely unwatchable.

 

From Twitter 01-27-2010



  • New blog post: From Twitter 01-26-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-25-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-24-... http://bit.ly/d3qjqi
  • One gets up in the morning, sees Ubisoft's new DRM scheme for PC games and is already left speechless by their blessed wish not to sell
  • any more games to anyone.
  • And darlings, if you make the resale of your product impossible, you have to lower its price.
  • New blog post: Hitori Kakurenbo (2009): aka Creepy Hide And Seek A new unhealthy craze has parts of Japan's youth... http://bit.ly/bVTU4k
  • Saw VII 3D? Combining two of my least favorite things!
  • RT:@richardcobbett:"It's hard to conceive of PC gamers being stranded without an Internet connection" writes An Idiot.(http://bit.ly/9rk7i4)


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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hitori Kakurenbo (2009)

aka Creepy Hide And Seek

A new unhealthy craze has parts of Japan's youth in its grip, as far as you can use an excited sounding word like "craze" to describe anything to do with the disaffected and depressed young people of this film. Be that as it may, there's a chat room with people playing something called "creepy hide and seek". It's an interesting game - just slit open a doll, fill it with rice and nail clippings, then sew the doll shut again. Afterwards, tag it with the name of someone you want something unpleasant to happen to (an aspect of the whole ceremony the film chooses not to explore) while you stab it in its doll belly. Then, throw the thing into a basin full of water and hide yourself away in your walk-in cupboard before the water has run out, because you don't want to meet the thing for which you have just opened a door.

The teacher Ryoko (Yukie Kawamura) learns of the game when Ritsuko, one of her problem students disappears, spirited away by the ghost she had conjured up. Ryoko possesses the ability to see ghosts (or tends to hallucinate) even without playing occult games ever since a hide and seek game in her childhood that ended with the death of a friend, so fittingly the strange happenings around the game are bound to find her somehow.

Hitori Kakurenbo is not a film that will convince anyone not already interested in contemporary Japanese horror to develop a taste for it. Still, if you're like me and have a love for the sub-genre, this film will come as a pleasant surprise. The budget was obviously as low as low can be, but director Masafumi (or is it Masashiro? Sources are not in agreement) Yamada seems to have studied some of the stylistic tricks of Kiyoshi Kurosawa circa Kairo. Not that Yamada's film is nearly as good as Kurosawa's, but there is an aesthetic kinship in the very slow rhythm of their films, the lowered affects of their characters and their sense of the day-to-day world being only separated from the truly weird by a thin membrane.

Hitori Kakurenbo is a lot more conventional than Kurosawa's films, though. Yamada seems to go through a checklist of mandatory scenes in Japanese horror and put as many of them on screen as possible. So there's the creeping from a mirror scene, the crawling woman (although this one crawls on the ceiling making disturbing wet sounds and has no eyes), the "the ghost is behind the protagonist but only the viewer knows" moment and so on and so on. While all this is not original, Yamada manages to give those scenes enough small visual twists to let them retain a bit of creepiness even for those among its viewers who have seen it all dozens of times before.

There's a subtle sense of claustrophobia permeating everything, caused by the way the camera frames the small rooms most of the film takes place in and by the emptiness around the protagonists. This lack of humans - I don't think we see more than a dozen people in the whole film - is probably a point where the film's lack of budget helps to intensify the film's aesthetic coherence, but it works out too well for the overall mood not to have been planned this way.

Apart from this lonely mood, I think it is mostly the unhurried tempo that makes the film work for me. Some might find that everything - every camera movement, every character reaction - here happens just too slowly for their tastes, but for me, the slowness carries with it a feeling of inevitability, a feeling that is only strengthened by the near total absence of a normal plot.

Of course, I won't blame anyone who finds the thought of a nearly plotless, incredibly slow movie off-putting. Chances are that Hitori Kakurenbo just wasn't made for you if you think so.

 

From Twitter 01-26-2010



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  • New blog post: In short: Bless This House (1988): After twenty years of toil for his company, an architect whom ev... http://bit.ly/6ciQq6
  • Just saw the first Mass Effect called an "Eastern style RPG". Umm, what?


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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

In short: Bless This House (1988)

After twenty years of toil for his company, an architect whom everyone calls "Uncle Bill" (Bill Tung) finally seems to have hit a lucky streak in his life. Not only does Bill's young and dynamic (yes, this does translate to "highly unsympathetic") boss promote him, he also allows him to move into a large, company-owned home.

Bill and his family - wife Sau-Lan (Dik Boh-Laai), older daughter Jane (Rachel Lee aka Loletta Lee) and little Yan-Yan (Chan Cheuk-Yan) - are at first absolutely delighted by their new home. Soon, however, the first problems with the dream home become all too apparent. The family could probably live with the fact that the house is way out in the boons, or that their closest neighbour is a mad one-eyed guy (Bruce Leung) living in a half-ruined temple who likes to sprout rather unhelpful yet dire warnings.

The family of ghosts sharing their living space is quite a different thing, though. At first, those rather unfriendly sub-tenants are only scaring away Jane's annoying boyfriend Biggie (Stephen Ho), but they are working their way up to bigger things like hoover possession and compelling Bill to sing peking opera parts in the cellar. The final goal of all the spookiness is (of course!) to let the living repeat the family tragedy that killed the ghost family.

Usually, I avoid comedies like ghosts avoid the ashes of holy men, but I just had to make an exception for Bless This House, or more precisely for its director Ronny Yu, who made a handful of my favourite Hong Kong films and is one of the few directors from there whose US films are also at least worth watching. Well, most of them, anyway.

Yu is such an exception to my (only half-real) "no comedy" rule, that I have even found myself laughing about some of his films.

And I did in fact laugh more than once while watching Bless This House. The main reason why the movie's humour worked for me is Yu's avoidance of the two least likeable elements of Hong Kong comedy - a nasty disposition (at its worst displayed in Wong Jing's conviction that rape is really funny) and an over-reliance on slapstick. This is not to say that Yu's film is completely lacking in physical comedy, he is just using it a bit more sparingly than many of his peers, which seems to me an excellent way to keep it funny instead of exhausting.

Yu also shows every symptom of actually having empathy with his protagonists, even when he puts them into highly undignified and agreeably silly situations. The film's heart seems to be in the right place.

Bless This House is also a film that shows its influences as a horror comedy (Sam Raimi, Chinese vampire movies, you know, the obvious) with pride and enthusiasm without becoming a mere copy of them.

As far as I know (and as I said, I don't know much about comedy or your strange human "humour"), though, good comedy succeeds or fails mostly by virtue of its timing and pacing, and it's these points where Yu's talent really comes through beautifully. The film escalates (and regular readers will probably know by now how big I am on escalation) nicely from harmless sillyness to the sort of sillyness that could kill its protagonists, as it well should in a horror comedy, but isn't so nasty to refuse its viewers the appropriate happy end.

 

From Twitter 01-25-2010



  • New blog post: From Twitter 01-24-2010: A zombie horse, Joel Schumacher? Really?New blog post: From Twitter 01-23-... http://bit.ly/5lQTtx
  • New blog post: Music Monday: Two For The Price Of One Edition: Technorati-Tags: music monday,music,caetano velos... http://bit.ly/5624qQ
  • So, this OnLive silliness transfers data with the speed of light? Good to know.
  • People who complain about long cut scenes in Japanese RPGs are like people complaining about zombies in zombie films.
  • Be like me and complain about protagonists who never ask any questions about anything instead!
  • Love it how the Google blog doesn't mention adblocking as typical function of a browser extension. Well, Chrome's not my thing anyway.


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Monday, January 25, 2010

Music Monday: Two For The Price Of One Edition

From Twitter 01-24-2010



  • A zombie horse, Joel Schumacher? Really?
  • New blog post: From Twitter 01-23-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-22-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-21-... http://bit.ly/83djF6
  • New blog post: The Criminals (1976): This Shaw Brothers production consists of three episodes by different directo... http://bit.ly/8Sos7u
  • Huh, I wouldn't have expected a band named "Cuddle Magic" to be actually good, but they are.


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Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Criminals (1976)

This Shaw Brothers production consists of three episodes by different directors "based on true crimes".

The first one, "Hidden Torsos", tells of the rather unlucky attempt of Jenny (Shih Szu) and her little mute daughter to leave Jenny's lover Rong Sheng (Si Wai). Jenny ends up stabbed, her kid drowned. Rong Sheng bricks their bodies in, but chooses such a stupid place for it that they are found earlier than he had expected.

The second episode, "Valley of the Hange" (sic), is about a worker named Hong the Bull (Kong Yeung) and his troubles with his wife Mei Jiao (Terry Lau). Just think, although he paid enough to marry her to pay for quite a lot of whores, she doesn't want to sleep with him anymore! When Hong finds out that Mei Jiao instead sleeps with his foppish colleague De the Prince (Tin Ching), only deadly violence can be the answer. The film approves.

The last part of the film, "The Stuntsmen" (sic, again) tells the story of Shaw Brothers stuntman Chen Zhong (Lo Lieh). Surprisingly enough, many of the stuntmen we see don't seem satisfied with what the Shaw Brothers are paying and work as gangsters on the side. Chen Zhong meets and falls in love with the prostitute Hong (Tanny Tien Ni), who looks exactly like actress Tanny Tien Ni, whom he of course fancies. He has a glorious idea for Hong's prostitute career - pretend she really is Tanny Tien Ni! The plan works out nicely, but Chen Zhong is sucked ever deeper into the gangster lifestyle and soon has his own gang as well as his own gang wars. He survives his new lifestyle nicely until he takes the homeless Kid Liu (Wong Yu, not the regularly one-armed one) under his wing and in his trust. As it goes in cases like these, Liu falls in love with Hong, their affair gives one of Chen Zhong's enemies a convenient method to blackmail Hong, murder happens.

The exploitation arm of the Shaw Brothers was quite active during the second half of the 70s, churning out lurid films like this one by the dozens. This "ripped from the headlines" portfolio film was successful enough to get three sequels. The reason for its success probably wasn't the film's rather dubious quality, but the siren song of cheap, ugly thrills. Of course, I'm perfectly fine with that.

Seen as a film rather than a money-making device, The Criminals is a bit more problematic. Each of the segments is directed by a different director and goes for a different sort of luridness. This makes the film more than a little disconnected.

Cheng Kang's first segment is probably the best of the three. While it is a bit short, "Hidden Torsos" works very well as a tour de force thrill ride. A certain visual pop sensibility, a wee bit of Poe and merry crassness collide in a nice little heap of cheap yet effective thrills without much substance but with a lot of drive.

Hua Shan's second segment is less satisfying. It is as sleazy as one could wish for, but the "horned husband kills his wife" plot just couldn't keep me interested for a whole thirty minutes. On the plus side stands an ensemble of actors camping it up so much that it's obvious nobody here is taking the whole thing seriously. That doesn't make the episode shorter however.

Where "Valley of the Hange" is too long, Meng-Hua Ho's "The Stuntsmen" is way too short to effectively develop anything that is packed into it. At first, the glorious chutzpah of the Shaw Brothers basing parts of an exploitation film on their own bad reputation is very charming, especially when the film goes as far as to have a doubleganger prostitute of one of the studio's actresses played by said actress herself in it, but the segment soon just ignores the enticing and rather creepy self-referentiality and transforms into a standard gangster film.

Alas one that fails at pressing the plot of a two hour film into barely forty minutes. A few scenes like the two big(ish) murder set pieces do pack a bit of a punch (this is a highly professional production after all), but everything else happens too fast and is too superficial  and jumpy to leave much of an impression.

Of course, The Criminals still is the movie in which the Shaw Brothers show the Shaw Brothers as the cradle of protection rackets and prostitution, so nobody interested in the studio's films or exploitation filmmakers exploiting themselves should miss out on it, even though it is not a very good film.

 

From Twitter 01-23-2010



  • New blog post: From Twitter 01-22-2010: New blog post: From Twitter 01-21-2010: Gamers Help Haiti! Join with other... http://bit.ly/5fUpoY
  • New blog post: On WTF: The Hereafter (1983): This week on WTF-Film.com, I enter the realm of true obscurity with M... http://bit.ly/6tKlfy
  • Watched Fred Olen Ray's "Alien Dead". Want to die now.
  • But found this, which might just be the best thing ever: http://tinyurl.com/lzfvaj
  • So staying alive it is.


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Saturday, January 23, 2010

On WTF: The Hereafter (1983)

This week on WTF-Film.com, I enter the realm of true obscurity with Michael J. Murphy's thriller with supernatural undertones The Hereafter. Like most of its directors work, it's nearly a lost film, and while it's far from being perfect, it is still very much worth watching, as I explain in my review.

 

From Twitter 01-22-2010



  • New blog post: From Twitter 01-21-2010: Gamers Help Haiti! Join with other gamers & donate now: http://tinyurl.com... http://bit.ly/5s2WKa
  • RIP George Hilton
  • And happy birthday, dear dead Robert E. Howard!
  • RT @jimrossignol: Splendid feature on the nature of indie games, penned by Mr Alec Meer, on RPS: http://bit.ly/7RUX7z
  • Finally getting around to finishing Batman: Arkham Asylum. 2nd half of the game is a bit weaker than the beginning.
  • Did we really need 3 of the Scarecrow levels? And the Killer Croc bit is so long and repetitive that it becomes tedious.
  • Still a very good game, mind you.


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