Saturday, January 16, 2010

In short: Scared (2005)

A busload of Thai first semester students drives into the deep dark jungle for a first get-together, as you do. Everyone in the group is as annoying as he or she is stupid, so our designated murder meat is not even discouraged from their trip by silly little things like flooded streets and decides to sneak into the jungle on byways. Alas, those jungle bridges ain't what they used to be and break down when a schoolbus full of idiots tries to cross them. The survivors (the names of the characters have been redacted because there's no point, the names of the actors because I'm not that cruel) stumble and bitch through the jungle until the hardest working guy in slasher business begins to cut a bloody path through them.

Things don't get better when the surviving survivors survive to a big yet unpeopled grocery store/gas station. The killer is in fact getting even more enthusiastic.

After more screeching teenies and senseless violence, everything culminates in the stupid twist ending to end all stupid twist endings.

When a film ends on the words "What son of a bitch wrote that script?" you can be sure of the contempt its makers have for their audience. And Scared surely does not disappoint in its hatred for everyone stupid or unlucky enough to throw money at it.

I'll give director and writer Pakphum Wonjinda that the photography is decent and the gore well done (which isn't exactly difficult to achieve for a film that obviously had some money to burn - and possibly really burned it instead of using it), but what good is that when he doesn't give a damn about anything else? I can live with a slasher having no story besides "kill kill kill kill", but Scared also lacks in rhythm, mood, character - you know, those things that you put in a movie when you actually care about what you are doing.

The young actors are all absolutely terrible, too. How much of that is their fault and how much caused by the film's lack of everything is difficult to say. When in doubt, I blame the director and not a bunch of teenies doing their first professional acting stints.

I can only recommend Scared to hardcore masochists/slasher movie fans.


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