Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Yongary - Monster From The Deep (1967)

South Korea, somewhere on Bizarro Earth. What a family! Ona, daughter of the head of South Korea's space program (just go with it) has just married Sung, son of the country's prime minister and top astronaut (or is it only astronaut). While their parents and Ona's sister Suna (without any redeeming features) and her boyfriend/would-be-boyfriend/who-the-hell-knows Ilu (Ilo?) - genius scientist - mouth off terrible nonsense (something you will get used to during Yongary), the happily married pair drives off to their atrociously looking wedding suite set, they are attacked by a sudden itch to scratch themselves (just go with it - there is no other choice). Luckily, Ilu finds the two before they can scratch themselves to death (no, it won't get any less painful). He promptly drags the prime minister's youngest son Kenny Icho out of the bushes, who has misused Ilu's newest invention, the itching ray, on the pair.

After this little problem is solved, the newlyweds land in said set and we soon see them doing what newlyweds tend to do. She is sitting in the suite and pouts, while her husband sits on something that is supposed to be a terrace and stares wistfully at a piece of cloth with painted stars (aka the night sky) on it.

Before they can continue to even more exciting activities, a blinking doo-dad calls for Sung's return to home base (so, yes, he is the only astronaut around).

Some nation in the Middle East seems to be performing atomic testing, so obviously South Korea has to investigate what other world powers like Liechtenstein would ignore. The best way to observe tests like this is obvious: Launch a capsule into orbit to observe from there. All goes more or less well, but the atomic testing seems to have awoken a living earthquake that promptly starts to make its way to Korea.

What ever may it be? We are very much surprised to learn that yes, Bob, this is a Giant Monster moving underground. As soon as the bad copy of Gojira with a horn on its nose appears, we wish it would have stayed underground.

South Korea's forces (consisting of - count them! - two tanks) are quickly overwhelmed and the fire-breathing thing quickly dubbed Yongary goes on a very mild rampage, full of bad matte work, modeling that permanently gets the perspectives wrong and not much entertainment value.

Finally, the Kenny runs away to observe the monster more closely. He quickly learns two important facts about the beastie. Firstly, it drinks oil (just like Gamera! What a coincidence!). Secondly, it seems to be allergic against ammonia.

But woe! Nobody except super scientist Ilu believes him, so the military is allowed to launch a guided missile strike against Yongary, something which, as Ilu explains, will only help to energize it (no, I don't see a connection between drinking oil and getting blown to bits either, but oh well).

Or will, as really happens, strike Yongary unconscious. The Kenny can't let the monster rest, though, so he sneaks away again, this time bringing his stolen itching ray device with him, and attacks the helpless sleeper with it. Yongary wakes up again and starts to scratch himself in an incredibly stupid way, explained by Icho as "dancing" and accompanied by music supposedly meant as surf guitar. I think.

Now the prime minister has no other choice than to put Icho's ammonia plan into action (I personally would have stuffed the little bugger into the next closet - it's possibly not too bad I don't have any kids). It works marvelously. The big one really dislikes ammonia so much that he dies of severe, gory, rectal bleeding, polluting a river as his final evil deed. No, really.

The End.

 

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