Shake, Rattle & Roll 2k5 (2005)

aka Shake, Rattle & Roll 7

The Shake, Rattle & Roll films are a long, though not continuously, running series of Filipino horror anthologies produced for the regional market and closely connected to the Manila Film Festival. Because they aren’t really meant for export, it’s not terribly easy to get ahold of all of the films in subtitled form outside of the Philippines, which is a bit of a shame. The films of the series I have seen are by no means perfect and tend to light and rather cartoonish horror but they are also usually fun and bring a unique cultural perspective to their material that is exactly the sort of thing that makes films produced for local markets often so interesting. These are generally standard horror tales, but they are standard horror tales as seen through a specifically Filipino lens, and, if the viewers are really lucky, also featuring monsters from Filipino folklore.

This seventh entry was a return to screens for the series after a break of eight years, and while it’s a sometimes scrappy and imperfect movie, its three tales are also in turns charming, weird, and actually pretty great.

Well, great’s not the word that comes to my mind for the first tale, “Poso”, directed by Uro de la Cruz. It concerns a broadly drawn fake spirit medium’s (comedian Ai-Ai de las Alas) final case at fleecing money out of the gullible through nonsense and special effects. Alas, she and her gang will soon realize that they’ve finally encountered a real ghost – and it is angry. Which, come to think of it, I’d be too if I would mostly manifest as an unconvincing puddle of moving CGI blood. But it’s not the effects alone that make this episode the mandatory dud of the film – the humour has the shrill quality of chalk on cardboard, the pacing is much too slow for a comedy, and the horror bits are not terribly effective, either.

Fortunately, to the rescue rides story number two, “Aquarium”, by Rico Maria Illarde. A married couple with slight marital problems (Ara Mina and Ogie Alcasid), their son (Paul Salas) and their comic relief live-in maid (the perhaps just a wee bit peculiarly named Wilma Doesn’t) move into a new apartment, where they find the titular aquarium, empty apart from a pretty creepy mask. Of course, the ideal way to make one’s son happy is to fill it with goldfish (and water, don’t worry, nature lovers) yet keep that darn mask inside. Not surprisingly, creepy things happen. At first, it’s just an old a bit dead looking woman popping out of nowhere from time to time to warn the wife about the aquarium being cursed (and to later deliver further helpful exposition), but soon, the cursed and also telekinetic aquarium gets water everywhere, murders a plumber and really, really doesn’t like the kid. But hey, fighting it also helps solve these slight marital problems.

Obviously, this second tale is neither the most sensible of stories nor strictly scary, unless you’re hydrophobic or are generally freaked out by aquariums or goldfish. However, it is such peculiar little tale I found myself utterly charmed by it. There’s hardly a scene going by where the aquarium isn’t up to aquatic shenanigans to all kinds of mind-bending and pretty fun effects, the old woman ghost (spoiler?) is somewhat effective, and the climax even delivers on a little latex monster action. Plus, the aquarium is apparently cursed because a father drowned his little daughter in it because “she looked like a goldfish”. It’s pleasantly bonkers, is what I’m saying, and therefor endlessly entertaining.

Shake 2k5 does end on its best tale. “Lihim ng San Joaquin” (which I believe translates into “The Secret of San Joaquin” but please don’t quote me on this) concerns a married couple (Mark Anthony Fernandez and Tanya Garcia) fleeing a crop failure and pushy parents in their home village to San Joaquin, a village way out in the sticks, in hopes of better luck there. She’s visibly in the last months of pregnancy, so I’m not sure the timing is great, but so it goes. Anyway, pregnancy and poverty turn out to be the least of the couple’s problems: their new neighbours seem more than just a little bit strange and debauched (perhaps San Joaquin is pinoy for “Dunwich”?). And what’s to say about their first encounter with the village leader (Noni Buencamino) that sees him telling them the place just had an epidemic which infected eighteen kids, but don’t they worry, they burned them? As a matter of fact, the couple’s new neighbours are Aswang, and we know how these guys and gals feel about babies (hungry).


“San Joaquin” as directed Richard Somes, is the film’s highpoint, winning me over with a tightness and focus the other two episodes lack, telling its simple tale with great assurance and an ability for building up a nice mood of wrongness with simple means. The Aswang themselves are created via traditional make-up effects and the kind of broad and theatrical acting that’s exactly right for this sort of monster. Already rather convincing as backwoods people of threatening behaviour and hygiene, the actors playing them become truly great when they let loose as monsters, and the tiny siege and chase scene that ensues between them and our heroic couple may be small but it’s also effective, making great use of the jungle, darkness, and mud.