Ghostbusters (2016): Unlike some guys who really seem disturbed by the mere concept of a film with female protagonists, I really wanted to like this one. Unfortunately, I think it’s about as funny as a funeral (so typical for Paul Feig movies and me), with oh so many non-starter jokes without punch lines, scenes that go on endlessly for no particular reason, pacing problems, a total lack of the urgency the plot of the original Ghostbusters had while actually being funny, badly defined characters, boring ghosts, and an all-around lackluster air I find completely befuddling given how beloved the first original Ghostbusters movie was.
There’s really no good reason why this one isn’t better – the money’s there,
the people involved seem actually enthusiastic about the project, yet still it’s
on the same level of blandness as Legend of Tarzan.
Satanic (2016): There are two or perhaps three scenes in
Jeffrey Hunt’s occult teen horror film that suggest potential for at least mild
creepiness. Unfortunately, these scenes are in a movie that mostly plays out
like a mediocre (cable) TV movie, only that most TV movies nowadays don’t waste
half of their running time before the actual plot starts. This one, alas, leaves
us with thirty minutes of actual narrative and nearly an hour of various kinds
of feet-dragging – and not any interesting kind of feet dragging. The acting’s
less than helpful, too, with most of the young pretty things seeming out of
their depth even when asked to portray even the most basic of emotions.
I can’t imagine who the supposed audience for this thing is – teen horror
fans can do so much better, TV movie horror fans too, and the trash and gore
hounds will fall asleep early and not miss out on anything.
Worry Dolls aka The Devil’s Dolls (2016):
That does make Padraig Reynolds’s Southern US set horror film something like the
star of this post. Despite a rather clunky script – just take as an example
how the way the film decides to use to get the titular dolls into the wrong
hands also makes the cop hero look like the most incompetent man alive or the
treacly clichéd way the film portrays the guy’s relation to his little daughter
– the film is at least entertaining, from time to time even moody, and certainly
acted competently enough. There are also some rather neat bloody sequences as
well as some well-realized suspense sequences that suggests – as did the
director’s Rites of Spring – that Reynolds is just a decent script away
from turning out a truly good movie.