Tuesday, August 24, 2010

In short: Big Boobs Buster (1990)

Japanese school girl Masako (Harumi Kai) is rejected by her dream boy Bando, because her flat-chested-ness doesn't fit into his breast-fetishist picture of womanhood (that only includes skills like sewing; he wants his grandmother, but with tits, I suspect). Masako does the logical thing, that is she dresses up in a superhero unitard (complete with bolstered breasts), calls herself "Big Boobs Buster", steals a database of the local girls with larger breasts from an old pervert (Eisei Amamoto - yes, that Eisei Amamoto) and begins to assault the girls one after the other, taking moulds of their breasts. I'm not sure it was part of her plan that her victims enjoy the process as much as they do, but what can you do? Highpoint in her breast-stealing adventures is her fight against Bando's new girlfriend and her metal bra.

Her next victim is less easily conquered, though, and manages to press Masako into the track team by threatening her with lesbian sex. In the track team the girl learns that you can win races through training and determination, and that body building and milk are good for breast growth. On the plus side, Masako also learns that there's no need to waste one's time on guys who are only interested in one's tits and sewing abilities.

So, who put the sports mini-movie including a terrible training montage into my pervy weird Japanese short film? It's not that I hate sports movies and their obsession with winning and physical fitness above all else…oh, wait, I do hate them, and I hate them especially when elements of their mirthless existence turn up in a film like this that begins as a slightly less sleazy variation on Kekko Kamen and initially promises to get weirder the longer it runs.

Unfortunately, all that training and babbling about determination and the goddamn positive message about growing up the film feels the need to include break that promise with a vengeance. It's a shame, really, because the direction is enthusiastic and contrasts its bonkers moments neatly with the everyday locations they take place in, the acting's good enough and the film completely lacks in the mean-spiritedness is theme could suggest. Even some of the jokes are funny.

Of course, complaining that ten minutes out of a forty minute trifle aren't exactly what my poor perverted tastes were hoping for isn't really fair. Big Boobs Buster is still a fair enough time.


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