Things I learned from "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus"

• "Megalodon" is pronounced "Meggledonn"
• Smell is a most powerful thing
• A marine biologists' work consists of mixing a multitude of multi-coloured fluids. And stealing submarines
• Female marine biologists like to call themselves "mermaids"
• Green fluorescent fluids are the best - just ask Dr. Herbert West
• Lorenzo Lamas has paralyzed facial muscles which give him the power to say the most inane sentences without breaking down in insane bouts of laughter & he still has to hide his face for half of the movie
• Meggledonns can jump as high as the flying altitude of a passenger plane, which proves to be very beneficial for a species hunting airplanes
• Somewhere, my old Commodore Amiga is used to make CGI effects
• Airplane fishing is a hobby meggledonns and giant octopi share
• Oirish professors are oirish, lassie
• Einstein and Oppenheimer and people who hunt giant monsters are somehow the same
• If you want to kill a meggledonn or a giant octopus, you'd best do it as close to a famous landmark and/or a highly populated area as possible
• Two very big sea monsters = one global catastrophe
• If "Thriller in Manilla" is your description of your film's endgame, either the shark or the octopus must be Muhammad Ali, and therefore be the hero of your movie
• "Only a hate stronger than their combined survival instincts can lead to such a result"
• The laws of physics apply!
• We are hoping for a bloodbath
• Japanese people all talk in heavily accented English with each other
• Even an Asylum production has a 2nd 2nd assistant director
• The rip-off artists of The Asylum are perfectly capable of making a watchable piece of crap like this when they want to

 

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