Tuesday, April 7, 2009

In short: Night of Fear (1972)

A soon to be archetypal scrawny bearded serial killer with a hygiene problem (Norman Yemm) uses his shack somewhere in the Australian bush to do what all scrawny bearded people with hygiene problems like to do: chasing a young woman (Carla Hoogeveen) around until he can feed her to his pet rats. You don't want to know what he does with the remains.

Night of Fear was supposed to be the first episode of the first Australian TV horror show, but the network and/or the censor weren't all too keen on something very much in the spirit that would later produce films like (beloved in my household) Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the film was never broadcast until it finally appeared on a DVD together with writer/director Terry Bourke's Inn of the Damned (which I'll probably comment on one of these days).

The film hasn't much depth, but breathes the relentlessness and pessimism typical of 70s backwoods horror. Bourke's direction is extremely assured in its use of oppressive camera angles and suggestive editing. It seems as if the film is permanently on the look-out for ways to evoke a feeling of claustrophobia, mostly to excellent effect. It's quite a beautiful piece of short, sharp, punchy cinema, even transcending its gimmicky "no dialogue" set-up that works nicely during the main part of the movie, but is problematic during its beginning and end.

Night of Fear only really falters when the viewer starts to think too much about what she sees. It just isn't the kind of film that goes is interested in your brains at all, it instead is very much going for your jugular, with all the good and bad things this usually entails.

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Monday, April 6, 2009

Music Monday: Silk & Amphetamine Edition

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Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Stranger Gets Mean (1976)

aka Get Mean

The always weirdly grinning and mugging gunman we only know as the Stranger (Tony Anthony) returns. And what a return it is! He is being dragged behind a riderless horse into the dustiest Western ghost town in all of Spain, um, I mean America. There he meets a bunch of people I can only describe as gypsy pirates. They have been waiting for him as the promised hero who shall return their princess Elizabeth (Diana Lorys) back to Spain and help her regain her throne from the invading barbarians. While our dubiously heroic hero is still haggling about the price of his services, a group of black clad cowboys led by a Viking attack. The Stranger disperses these guys pretty fast and it does only take a little line on a map until the he and the princess arrive in Spain. Once there, they witness a bizarre battle between the barbarians (a bunch of people with melee weapons, dressed as Persian, Vikings, traditional Spanish courtiers, or just in the pelts of movie barbarism) and Elizabeth's people (who are white Moors? Spaniards?), wearing either the gypsy pirate style things or movie Moorish clothing circa from the Crusades era, as well as anything else the director thought he could get away with (that is, everything). By all rights, Elizabeth's guys should win, what with them having firearms (and bows) and such, but the barbarians have a secret weapon. It's an early version of a tank in form of a cart carrying four cannons on a turning disk and it makes short work of Elizabeth's army.

Well, so much for the good guys. Afterwards, the leaders of the barbarians go for a little chat with the Stranger and Elizabeth. It turns out that Elizabeth's tendency to tell everyone, even the leaders of her enemies, who she is and the Stranger's helpful explanation of her monetary worth can only lead to trouble. So Elizabeth ends up kidnapped while our hero sees the world hanging from his feet while the barbarians are shooting their cannons at him.

This is where the plot (such as it is) starts to get complicated with a nonsensical series of double crosses between the leaders of the barbarians (Diego-who-dresses-like-Genghis-Khan-and-is-dubbed-with-a-near-impenetrable-accent, The Gay Courtier, and Richard III's number one fan) and the Stranger himself, kidnappings, escapes, and a little questing for a hidden treasure.

Among the further indignities that are visited on our hero are:

  • invisible ghosts hitting him and possessing him into imitating wolf howls (very badly, at that)
  • a black face bomb
  • people stuffing an apple into his mouth and trying to roast him on a spit
  • the local semi-lesbian warrior women trying to do him sexual harm until they are distracted by each other's awesomeness

and more insane shit than one could possibly list.

For those among us who thought The Stranger's outing in Japan was weird, Get Mean is a true eye opener. Its glaring and completely conscious ignorance of things like logic, characterization, history (if not time itself) and plain human sanity is bound to show everyone what the word "bonkers" really means. It is surprisingly unmysterious how the film came to pass, though (and yes, I am passing wild speculation based on my intimate knowledge of Italian filmmaking by way of watching way too many Italian films as fact here). You see, director Ferdinando Baldi and his star Tony "Mugging Mug" Anthony promised their producers to make a Western only to find that they didn't have any Western costumes except for the single one that was part of Tony's private wardrobe. Buying or making some was completely out of the question after most of the budget had already been invested in drugs during the script writing phase (a wild party in Baldi's house during which no script was written), but what luck! Baldi still had some moth-eaten rags "borrowed" during his stint as director of peplums and historical adventure films stashed away in his cellar! Nothing was more obvious than to just put them all on random actors and improvise something along the lines of Maciste's adventures in China, just with a gunman instead of Maciste and even less of an idea when exactly the damn thing was meant to take place.

Which brought this film into existence, a real prime piece of what the hell filmmaking that for once is as fun as its elements promise. There was most definitely neither a real script nor a plan nor any sane idea involved, but damn, this thing is moving along with nary a minute that is not filled to the brim with stupid, inappropriate and goofy scenes of inexplicable meaning, be it the indignities inflicted upon our hero or just a mass of dubious details (like the silver spheres which seem to observe the beginning and the end of the film, or our hero's love for the taunting of dead enemies or or or).

This just might be the film the Italian movie industry was made to create. Thanks, God!

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Saturday, April 4, 2009

Zombi Holocaust (1980)

(also known as Doctor Butcher M.D.)

A hospital in New York is plagued by a series of body part thefts (that's a sentence I always wanted to write). One of the hospital's male nurses (in the film's language a "native from the Moloccos") turns out to be the member of a cannibal cult. And he is not the only cannibal active in New York - the authorities are hiding a series of gruesome murders and icky cooking practices in connection with the cult.

What could be a better way to solve New York's problems than to send a small expedition consisting of Lori, a doctor working at the cannibal plagued hospital who is also an anthropologist (Alexandra Delli Colli) and highly qualified in dropping her clothes, Peter, another anthropologist (Ian McCulloch, zombie expert), some guy named George (Peter O'Neal, excellent at getting his eyes eaten) and journalist Susan (Sherry Buchanan) to the cannibals' island to investigate? Not that the film will ever mention New York again...

The island our "heroes" are bound to visit is called Kito and it is also one of the places the famed doctor Obrero (Donald O'Brien) graces with his medical talents. Obrero seems like the best man to get information and borrow some henchpeople from, but doesn't in fact have much of interest to say (gosh, looking at the American title one could think he has something to hide). At least the quartet can borrow a handful of his men as guides.

As it turns out, guides who would very much have liked to guide them to a different island, but whose plans are disturbed by some problems with the group's boat, leaving them (in one of those grand moments of totally superfluous plot flourishes which make Italian movies of this era so endearing) stranded exactly on the island they were looking for.

Also on the menu of the cannibal cult they were looking for, but that's what they wanted, right? Be that as it may, Kito is not only populated by cannibals - there is also a merry bunch of zombies in need of some guts to munch. Who will eat whom first? Will there be a White Goddess?

You can say what you will about Zombi Holocaust, but you can't say it is not trying. You can of course blame it for trying to fasten the progress of entropy by combining the Romero off-ripping Italian zombie movie with the cannibal film (which is arguably just a nastification of the jungle adventure genre) while adding some mad scientist tropes. Personally, I am a little in awe of this film, if probably not for the reasons anyone taking part in the production would have expected.

ZH really does its best to be as nasty as possible - the characters are as unlikable racist bastards as you'll find in Italian genre cinema, there's no gore effect too crude or just plain dumb not to be shown in detail, etc. - but I can't help but get the impression that it's all made with some misguided idea of the film being good fun in mind. It's all presented in so unspectacular a manner, giving the impression of a film being made by people who are trying their best to make a downright evil film, but can only settle on a pulp adventure with added rubbery gore in which they forgot to include the adventure, that I can't help but find this film full of gut munching, eye poking and head-with-boat-motor-crushing kind of endearing and (dare I say it?) rather cute.

I know that everything about the film sounds as if it should be squirm-inducing, censor-baiting (not that the real-world censor wasn't baited), and morally disturbing like, well like a combination of Fulci's Zombie and Deodato's Cannibal Holocaust without the animal torture (and I think in leaving this out the film shows its true colours as coming from a more innocent place)- it just doesn't impress me that way at all.

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Friday, April 3, 2009

The Unseeable (2006)

Thailand in the 1930s. Pregnant Nualjan (Siraphan Wattanajinda) comes to the country estate of Madame Ranjuan (Suporntip Chuangrangsri), hoping for a charitable place where she can stay for a few weeks and give birth to her child. Nominally, Nualjan is looking for the child's father, who one day went away on business, never to return, though the viewer can't help but be puzzled how she'll be able to find him when she's not actually searching.

Alas, Madame Ranjuan's estate is not the most healthy or sane place for a pregnant young woman to stay in. In spite of the size of the estate, there are nearly no servants to speak of around. Only Ms. Somjit (Tassawan Seneewiongse) - at best the rudest, most class-conscious woman Thailand's - takes care of a lady of the house who never leaves her room anymore on account of a broken heart, while two other welfare cases like Nualjan, Choy and the seemingly mad Grandmother Erb, are the only other people around. The only other living people, that is - there's an overabundance of ghosts around. From shadowy hands grabbing from a shrine, to a lone male lumberjack, to a hanging ghost, to a dead little girl, the place features more ghostly apparitions than the typical episode of Most Haunted.

Things aren't getting any more healthy after Nualjan's child is born. Ranjuan develops something of an obsession with the young woman's child, insisting on seeing and holding it in her room every day. As if this wasn't enough, Nualjan also slowly begins to realize some rather terrible personal truths.

The Unseeable isn't the type of film one would expect from Wisit Satanatieng, the director of Tears of the Black Tiger. It is as much of a stylistic homage to other films as Tears was, but it lacks some of the irony as well as the exuberance of the older film. This has of course a lot to do with the fact that a cross between a melodrama and an old fashioned ghost story doesn't lend itself too well to either of these moods. The film's problem is that there's nothing all that interesting taking the place of these moods, leaving the viewer rather puzzled about what it was meant to achieve.

The first hour of the film or so is fine enough, with some nice old fashioned spook set pieces, a rather minimalist but effective evocation of period detail (ah, the class consciousness is downright painful) and perfectly nice acting.

Afterwards, it all breaks down under the type of flaws I have by now seen to often in promising pieces of Asian horror: there is of course The Twist, not as annoying as it could be here (at least it fits the themes of the movie well), but still at once too obvious and too badly constructed to be satisfying. Then there's the bombardment with supposedly scary scenes in ever increasing frequency, until one can't help but giggle at every new ghost which appears - and there's really a lot of them, as if Satanatieng had thought to himself: "Well, ten ghosts are a lot scarier than one, right?". It also got increasingly more difficult for me to care about the melodrama, for the same reason the scary parts weren't scary anymore. Sometimes too much is simply too much.

 

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Thursday, April 2, 2009

In short: The Return of Dracula (1958)

How surprising, Dracula himself (Francis Lederer) does not like life behind the Iron Curtain. (Probably state-sponsored) people there trying to stake him could probably be part of the reason for that. Barely escaping a staking, the vampire takes the place of a certain Bellac Gordal, a painter on his way to emigrate to America and live there with distant relatives. Living with a widow (Greta Granstedt), her annoying son Mickey (Jimmy Baird) and family daughter Rachel (Norma Eberhardt) who isn't all that happy with life in small town America and very much wishes her "cousin" to be her savior from dreariness sounds like a fine change of pace for Drac. He's just starting out to have a little fun creating a new group of minions when his old enemy, the communist vampire hunter Meiermann (John Wengraf) comes to town, and if someone would have bothered to write an ending of some real dramatic impact, they would most certainly be bound for a final confrontation.

The Return of Dracula is very atypical for vampire movies of its day in putting the vampire into the contemporary world. For the first half of the movie, it looks as if director Paul Landres is willing to do some rather surprising (for an American film of 1958) things with this setting as well as with some interesting aspects of the film's subtext (the vampire as person who won't conform to society on one side, a priest and a communist agent protecting America on the other), but the last half hour or so forgets mostly about being interesting and sees the film turning into a bog standard vampire story that might as well take place in Victorian England or anywhere else, until the film just stops dead in its tracks.

I'd still recommend the movie for its many moments of striking black and white photography (Landres knew a lot about framing, it seems) and for the interesting beginning. You just shouldn't expect any kind of thematic pay-off or a well constructed ending.

 

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Voodoo Man (1944)

The area around Too-Lazy-To-Give-It-A-Name, USA is plagued by a series of disappearances. "Girl motorists" (and their cars) just seem to vanish into thin air, or at least, that's what the comic relief sheriff in his wisdom thinks (if he does think). In truth, Doctor Richard Marlowe (Bela Lugosi) and his merry band of malcontents - among them his Igor, the dedicated zombie wrangler, unfunky drummer and hair fondler Toby (John Carradine, doing his worst until it is oh so right) and gas station owner and voodoo priest Nicholas (George Zucco, often dressed in the most ridiculous voodoo priest get-up you'll ever see) - kidnap the women to solve a typical Lugosi problem. You see (and you just might have heard this one before), Bela's wife has been dead now for 22 years, but her loyal husband is still trying to revive her by transferring other women's wills to live (that's the technical term) to her body. Alas, not just any donor will do for a project like this. He has not been too successful until now, leaving the poor man with cellar full of young female voodoo zombies in white gowns (not even especially flimsy gowns!) to be hair-fondled and told about their prettiness by Toby and not much else to show.

I'm quite sure Bela would be able to triumph over death given enough time (let's say a few centuries), but as things like this go, he has finally kidnapped the wrong woman. Turns out that it's not a good idea to abduct the cousin of the fiancee of a Hollywood hack (Tod Andrews when he was still called Michael Ames, giving an absolutely perfect impression of a wooden doll with rubber arms; just too bad he's supposed to be human), unless one wants to be pestered by the incredible skill of the "romantic lead" (and golly, does this position deserve its quotation marks) of a Poverty Row movie at doing nothing at all and still being called a film's hero and triumphing over evil (by lying unconscious on the floor) in the end.

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who hear about a Monogram picture featuring Lugosi and Zucco and Carradine and jump (not fall) into an ecstatic state of mind quite like being hypnotized by Bela himself and those (poor sods) who just look kinda puzzled and shrug while they're slowly backing away from the person who brought them such glorious news.

I don't know what else I can do for the latter group than to pity them; to the former group I can say that the film is very much like one would expect, which is to say, not a good film at all but still very lovely.

Sure, I'll give skeptics that the plot of the film makes no sense, that the comic relief is as painful as always (though at least lacking in racist stereotypes thanks to the total absence of non-white people - for a voodoo movie from the 40s, that's actually positive), that the young lead characters should be shot on sight, that William Beaudine's direction is as pedestrian as always. But what are these minor questions of quality compared to Bela doing his hypnotic shtick, the gloriously low-key and/or impoverished voodoo rituals (so cheap they couldn't even afford Hollywood voodoo drumming and had to go with John Carradine and Pat McKee performing their own drumming, very badly of course) or the mindbogglingly boring "finale"? Not much, as most people with discerning tastes (a much nicer way to say "I", don't you think?) would agree.

 

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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sauna aka Filth (2008)

After 25 years of war between Sweden and Russia, the year of 1595 finds both countries busy with redrawing their borders. In the 16th century, the drawing of borders was a physical act, a work of practical cartography as well as taxation.

The Finnish brothers Erik (Ville Virtanen) and Knut (Tommi Eronen) Spore are the Southern agents of the Swedish crown deciding on the exact course of the border between the Swedish territory of Finland and Russia. Shortly before they are supposed to meet their Russian counterparts to coordinate and finalize their efforts, the brothers get themselves into trouble in a small village. Erik, a soldier with the charming (and not serial killer-like at all, oh, no) habit of counting the people he has killed (it's getting up to 73 now) slaughters a farmer (let's call him number 74) for the sin of hiding some of his taxable property from him, while Knut, a scientist by trade, very nearly rapes the same farmer's daughter. Unlike Erik, Knut is very much afraid of what he is capable of, stops himself and locks the girl in a cellar, to keep her safely away from harm as well as to not to have to deal with his own emotions. In a moment to delight every hobby Freudian, Knut asks his brother (who is still quite bloody from murdering someone) to free the girl from the cellar. Erik promises to take care of it, and of course doesn't.

Some time later they meet up with their Russian counterparts led by a certain Semenski (Viktor Klimenko), a man who is mostly interested in getting the whole border business over with and finally be able to live in peace. They are nearly through with the work. Just one more pesky swamp and the thing will be over. Semenski is willing to just say that the border is running right through the middle of the swamp without doing any real cartography or putting any markers down in it, but Erik, still fighting the war, insists on real exploration.

Unfortunately for the men, there is in fact something of interest in the swamp, something people as guilt-ridden and morally troubled as Erik and Knut, who has started to see the apparition of a certain dead girl even before, should better stay away from.

It's not the village of war refugees the men find that will be at the core of their troubles, it's an ancient sauna built a little further off in the swamp. But instead of cleansing sins, this sauna was built (if it was in fact built) to make one see one's sins more clearly, in preparation the other things it also shows.

Sauna is one of those films that seem to get better the more crappy contemporary shot on video horror you have seen, but I am not completely sure that it really is as good as It felt like. It is possible, even probable, that the siren song of a film that was not written by a bunch of morons and filmed utilizing mobile phones as cameras with the "director"'s family doing the "acting" is so strong that it makes me overlook certain weaknesses more than I should.

So, let's start with the weaknesses, which can mostly be found in the script. If you take away the historical setting, this is close to a lot of horror films from the last couple of decades, mostly those supernatural horror films which took something different from the Asian horror wave than the jump cuts, but it is at least a film about adults with emotional baggage instead of another film featuring our old friends Final Girl, Slut, Funny Black Guy and so on. Still, deeply original this is not, even less so when you take the bluntness of the film's psychology and metaphors (a girl locked away in a cellar, huh?) into account. On the other hand, Sauna's characters do at least have a psychology.

Then there's a underdeveloped sub-plot about gay attraction in it that is problematic in the way it couples homosexuality and violence, as well as a very unsubtle way to get rid of some characters.

Nearly as ill-advised is the final bunch of special effects. Those might have looked very good on paper, but just don't work in their execution. I am less than sure about their necessity either - for me, the film would be stronger without showing what it shows.

These are all flaws I am willing to live with, though, because these are all flaws that only come into play through the things the film does right. The psychology seems sometimes too reductionist because the acting is good enough to let you believe in the characters as persons; the special effects are problematic because the film is so excellent at setting an initial mood through light and landscape without showing much of anything; the answers are too blunt because the questions are so interesting.

I think the point I am trying to make through my rambling is that Sauna is an excellent film that has the type of flaws a lesser movie won't have because the lesser movie will have failed before it will even have reached the point where these flaws can come into play.

 

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Monday, March 30, 2009

Music Monday: That's That Edition

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Sunday, March 29, 2009

In short: The Legend of Wisely (1987)

His friend David Ko (director Teddy Robin Kwan) tricks the SF writer and international adventurer Wisely (Samuel Hui) into helping him steal a strange artifact known as the Dragon Pearl for gangster boss Pak Kei-Wei (Ti Lung!) from a group of Nepalese monks.

When good old honorable Wisely realizes that the monks he and David acquired the pearl from aren't the evil man-eating meanies David made them out to be, he swears to bring the artifact back to them.

With the help of Pak's sister Sue (Joey Wang), Wisely goes to work. His life would be a lot less difficult if he'd only have to keep the gangster (who is after all played by Ti Lung and therefore basically honorable) at bay. Unfortunately, a certain Howard Hope (Bruce Baron) from Egypt and his sometimes colourcoded henchmen are also quite interested in the object.

The Legend of Wisely is a prime example of the troubles with competence. Everyone taking part in the production does basically a decent job. You can't really criticize any single element of the film for being bad, it's just that the film composed of these elements is not very exciting at all. As a film based on I Kuang's (or whatever his name was that week) Wisely character, Legend lacks the sweet siren call of total, bat-shit insanity that makes other films in the cycle like The Seventh Curse or The Cat so much fun. Instead we get some solid action sequences and a plot that makes a certain amount of sense.

It's just too bad that this is something you can get from a lot of other movies, delivered in a more exciting form.

 

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Saturday, March 28, 2009

In short: The Curse of Kazuo Umezu (1990)

Two anime shorts based on the works of one of my personal heroes, Kazuo Umezu.

The first story "What Will The Camera Reveal?" is about high schooler Masami, who develops an unhealthy mixture of obsession with and fear of Rima, the new girl in her class. When she starts having nightmares of something terrible that visits her in the night and a strange mark appears on her throat, Masami comes to the conclusion that Rima must be a vampire. One of her classmates - a certain Umezu (unfortunately not wearing anything with red and white stripes) - suggests that she films what is really happening at night in her room. There are bound to be surprises.

The second story concerns a group of four girls, their visit in "The Haunted Mansion" and the unpleasant things that happen to them.

I had a surprising amount of fun with The Curse of Kazuo Umezu. Its flaws - really bad animation, stories without any depth whatsoever and the sort of plotting one would be hard-pressed to find anything more friendly than "serviceable" to say describe it, should be more than enough to make this OVA one to avoid, but in truth both shorts provide a kind of horror short film comfort food that is very endearing. They might be going through some very familiar motions, yet they are doing it with enough of Umezu's trademark sense of hysteria to have a rather loveable feel.

Also, the shorts allow me to use the words "endearing" and "loveable" when describing stories featuring dead children and dismemberments.

 

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Thursday, March 26, 2009

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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

In short: Dead Snow (2009)

And another wonderful sounding vacation spot made less than attractive by the movies.

A group of medicine students goes on vacation in the snowy mountains of Norway. Soon they are visited by the local exposition fairy in the form of a rude weirdo, who tells them all about the history of the dead nazis who supposedly haunt the area. What do you know, the guy is right! There are in fact Nazi zombies (of the fast, tool using variety) around. And what nazi zombie could ever resist the promise of spam tasty medicine students in a cabin?

Dead Snow is a surprisingly entertaining horror comedy from Norway. The beginning is nothing special thanks to overuse of standard tropes like the already mentioned exposition fairy or friends being completely surprised by the phobias of their friends (and really, script writers of the world, people know the phobias of their friends like they know their unhealthy obsession with peas), but once the nazi zombies start to doing their thing the film gets rather fun.

For once, this is a low budget film that knows what it can and what it can't achieve on its budget and that strictly sticks to the things it can achieve: some moody shots of spectacular landscapes, humor that starts out as a rather minor part of the set-up but slowly increases to a crescendo of bloody (and sometimes really mean-spirited) silliness very much in the spirit of young Peter Jackson and Sam Raimi, and some rather clever suspense set-ups.

One could complain (as the usual IMDB people of course already do) about a certain slightness in content and depth, but that amounts to complaining about a car not being an airplane or a technical manual not being good literature. Dead Snow sets out to be a fun ninety minutes for the kind of people who think Jackson's Brain Dead is funny (and by Cthulhu, it is!) and a fun ninety minutes for the kind of people who think Jackson's Brain Dead is funny it does deliver.

 

Daily Twitter Terror

  • 09:40 Spring is still exactly like an especially unpleasant autumn with more green around here.
  • 10:14 Only two types of albums would start with two minutes of wind: Black Meta and New Age Music.I find this somehow fitting.
  • 12:14 Snow and thunder? Hello spring!
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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Daily Twitter Terror

  • 02:44 New blog post: Daily Twitter Terror: 02:42 New blog post: Daily Twitter Terror: 02:42 New blog pos.. tinyurl.com/deam47
  • 10:45 New blog post: Music Monday: Things you only get away with when you're young edition: Technorati-T.. tinyurl.com/cnmuc3
  • 11:01 If "marketing" is already part of your username, guess if you'll be the first to be blocked?
  • 11:18 And on with the Criminal Minds marathon
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Monday, March 23, 2009

Music Monday: Things you only get away with when you're young edition

Daily Twitter Terror

  • 02:42 New blog post: Daily Twitter Terror: 02:42 New blog post: Daily Twitter Terror: 07:50 A remake of .. tinyurl.com/dh39gc
  • 10:12 Long time no B-movie confession. So: I don't care for Jim Van Bebber's films at all.
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