Some shouting about Trog (1970)

Thrill to the ratty upper half of one of the ape man costumes from Kubrick’s 2001 being worn by a big guy who didn’t fit in the rest of it! Enjoy the thought of the costume department not giving a crap about the way this looks and not doing anything with the rest of his body! Delight in Joan Crawford’s final movie role, given drunk, spouting dialogue that would be bad enough spoken by an actress who actually understands what her lines are supposed to mean instead of just reading from the script (or, I’d not be surprised to learn, from cue cards)!

Cry at the sight of Crawford testing out state of art (of 1970) children’s toys on said guy in the ape costume half! Cry some more when the film has Trog (as is ape guy’s name) project his stone age memories onto a screen! Or rather, cry when it’s exactly the recycled special effects footage you now imagine it is! Wonder at Michael Gough hysterically overacting the most obnoxious prick ever put to screen while somehow managing not to break down laughing and still breaking his own overacting record!

Break down laughing when the film puts on its serious hat with trial scenes that somewhat sabotage the film’s attempts at serious messaging by being utterly ridiculous, and containing particularly embarrassing/sad parts of Crawford’s performance! Really lose it when SCIENCE is done!

And have a little think about what (house favourite) director Freddie Francis (as well as the script writers and producer Herman Cohen) might have been thinking when making this one!

Possibly be annoyed by my writing style, but that’s the only way to talk about Trog I know!