Thursday, February 21, 2013

Three Films Make A Post: Cold green skin against soft warm flesh...a croak...a scream.

Tekken (2010): Veteran TV and low budget director Dwight H. Little's Tekken may very well be the best adaptation of a fighting video game. Which is to say that is goes through all the mandatory plot beats of every tournament movie ever, adds some post-Blade Runner low budget multiculturalism, shitty music, and a bit of the ole Hero's Journey and arrives at a film that is perfectly entertaining for the ninety or so minutes it runs, if the viewer is willing to accept a lot of silliness, or has a working sense of humour. I sure am and sometimes have. The film's best moment is probably when the SF tournament movie threatens to turn into a SF revolutionary action movie for ten minutes or so, but clearly, politics and family problems are best solved in the ring. An additional attraction is that the movie can be the basis for the most drunk drinking game imaginable based on the mention of the word "Tekken".

The Transporter 2 (2005): After the high of the first Transporter, this sequel shows Besson's Europa Corps. up to their usual crappy tricks again: the script is insultingly stupid (Luc, that's not how a virus works), the jokes about as funny as dying a painful death, and the action may be loud but is not at all involving. That charm I liked so much about the first Transporter is gone only to leave even more product placement in its place, and the sense of fun has been replaced by the film shouting at my that I'm supposed to have fun…or else.

Transporter 3 (2008): This one's something of a return to form for the series in so far as it doesn't flaunt its own stupidity for more than a few scenes, but mostly prefers to play its perfectly good stupid action movie high concept (a kidnapped politician's daughter, exploding bracelets, the Power of Love™ and an evil US corporation feature in the plot) straight. It's a bit of a shame to see director Olivier Megaton bury some clearly excellent car stunt work behind awkward camera angles and confused cuts, as if he weren't trusting his superior stunt team to actually delivers what it promises despite even this mutilated form not being able to hide their excellent practical execution of awesome-silly ideas. Still, this one's at least decent entertainment, heights the previous film was never able to reach. Plus, there's some choice objectifying of Jason Statham (whose fighting style really seems to be based on stripping) for those in the target group for this sort of thing.

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